It happened abruptly,
In the blink of an eye,
One minute, you were a full-bodied man,
The next, you’re short one component
Were, a word that has now become family,
Just as the crutches that are now a part of every journey,
The restroom, verandah,
Anywhere and everywhere
What happened?
How did it happen?
Everyone screams
But how do you respond when you can’t even fathom it yourself?
You slept like every other day,
Nothing much out of the ordinary,
What you didn’t expect was waking up to a nightmare,
One that will baffle you for years to come, probably till your last breath
At first, it seems like a passing phase,
But as the sun rises and sets,
And time passes gradually,
You realize this was no fluke
The early days were the seemingly good ones,
The period where your mind was nothing
But a blank canvas,
Void. Vacant. Vacuumed
The blankness
Oh! The bliss of it,
Nothing to see,
Nothing to feel,
Nothing to worry about
But as the analgesic wears out,
And the pain hits deeper,
Your heart wears out,
One beat at a time
In moments unexpected,
You reach out to swat a fly,
But realized there was nothing to touch,
As there was nowhere for a fly to even perch
Reflex, they call it,
Where your body betrays you,
Selling you tales of things that were but no longer exists,
Taunting you with nostalgia
Nothing prepares you for the tightness at night,
The frustrating struggle to let go of what wasn’t held,
The aching need to keep grasping for straws,
Hoping against hopes
The day the blankness gives way to the flood,
You swore you were becoming better.
But, alas,
If wishes were horses, beggars would probably have the best of rides
Another moment,
You did what you necessarily don’t do,
You longed…
For the days that went by,
Unnoticed,
Not fully appreciated,
Just there, running the motions
Again, you longed,
For the days that won’t see the light of day,
The days you hoped the chasm will close,
And the hearts will unite as they ought to
Alas, those days remain what they’ve always been,
Longings,
Deep yearnings that now have a companion, pain
A day passed.
Then another,
Then a month,
And now, it’s a year
Although this sun will never rise again,
Just as an amputated man learns to walk with his crutches,
You also will learn to live with this,
Forever.
